Another Blessing Turned into Trial!

I am happy to report that I am now on my way to becoming a mother of four! We have been trying since last December (minus a few months... I just got tired), and it finally happened for us. I am only 8 weeks along but already dreading the next month and half until this nasty, no energy, wanna-throw up-but-don't, feeling will leave me. This is what I tried so hard for right? No, just want the baby not all this junk!

I am happy but in the day to day moments of the last month I don't feel all that happy. I am always amazed at how my mood and attitude take a nose dive when I don't feel good. So I am happy at the blessing of having another one in the long and distant future but so sad that I am in this horrible stage.

With each child my pregnancies get worse. So I can say very emphatically this is it…..no more! I am over this stage already and want to move on to the fun nesting stage. I am even crazy enough right now to take being huge and uncomfortable over this nasty stage.

No more venting. On to how we found out. We went to visit my family in Idaho for the 4th of July, which went down in flames, I will say the worst visit of all time and I don’t think anything could ever top it. I will spare future generations the bore of all the details, but suffice to say, it did not go well and I was an emotional basket case. I could not take my family and my family could not take me. So when I found out two days after coming home that I was pregnant I felt a little comforted by the fact that there were hormones to blame the whole event on. Sorry again, for any and all who had to put up with me that weekend.

I hate being so negative, especially in light of my last post. But "this too shall pass", as my Grandma Carol always says, and it will, and I can’t pray it here soon enough!

The Plan of Happiness

I became active in the gospel at age 21. An ironic age only because of the worldly view that at that time in life is when you are finally old enough to be "free" and really start "living". For me, I had already experienced the world's offering of "free" and "living" and found it to be empty, cold, and enslaving. So to find the gospel and Christ was more than I could have ever dreamed of....I finally found peace and happiness! I found doctrines that helped me make sense of a senseless world! I found out why I was here on earth, who I was, and where I will go when I die!

These ideas and thoughts changed me. …not because someone said it was true and was really convincing in the telling, but I felt they were true ….inside. They became even truer when I started changing my life to be more in harmony with the Lord’s ways.

I stumbled upon paradox in my own search for happiness...when I submitted my will to the Lords he made me free! I felt and still do feel more inspired, alive, happy and at peace with myself and the world around me when I am keeping his commandments. When I try and do it my way and not chain myself to “dumb” rules I find I become empty and cold again.

My point is my testimony of the fact and reality of the Plan of Happiness! It truly is the plan to find happiness in this fallen life! We will not find it chasing anything else but Christ!

Why am I posting on this? To remind myself of these truths and to share them with others who may question and wonder where happiness is hiding.

Woe is me.

I understand that trials and opposition are a part of life! I’m 32 years old and that lesson should not be lost to me at this point in time. With the passing of time certain lessons should register and become like second nature to a person. We have all heard the clichés “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”, “The rainbow can only be seen after the storm”, ect, ect, ect. I feel I have been around long enough for this principal to really sink in.

So why is it so hard to take setbacks when we know they will be inevitably coming?

It was one week and two days ago. I awoke that Sabbath morning to put the finishing touches on my lesson for church (actually I was just starting to prepare! I feel terrible when I do that.) And that’s when I got the call from Mike. The goats had gotten in and EATEN all my strawberries (80), all my raspberries (10), and broken and eaten several of my little fruit trees that were trying to get started in this cold world! How did I handle myself? Not good. I didn’t realize my deep love I had for all fruit bearing crop until that moment.

We, I mean the plants and I, have struggled to regroup and keep moving forward and have been doing pretty well until today! Those d*#@ little creatures got in AGAIN! Victims once again to the goats are my strawberries. Truly, I had hoped these berries would be my pride and joy this summer, but now I see it’s not to be.
So as I sit here and reflect on the how and the whys, I guess I just need to chalk it up to that opposition in life will also spill into the garden area too, and maybe three little goaties need to be shot, or sold, or something, but they NEED TO GO!!!!

Bee Update

I LOVE having bees! I love seeing them in the garden and I love watching them in there own environment. Truly they are amazing little creatures. How can you not believe in a God after reading up about how they are made, and all they do?!

We have now put on the second super (box) on our second hive. We checked them after church today and WOW things are really happening out there! In this picture you can see the capped honey and the capped brood. Brood, which is soon-to-be-bees,are the brown capped off color and the honey is the white capped off part of the frame. This is the first inspection we have had where we have seen capped honey! They are doing what they are suppose too!

I think I have explained before that we came into a second hive by a friend capturing a swarm and giving them to us. I am so glad he did because now we have something to compare our hive with. Not to mention double the honey! We were able to taste some of it today and it was amazing. Still have not got stung yet but I am not holding my breath... I am sure it will happen.

Time With The Allen's

Cole with his first love...his cousin, Kandace! Aunt Deni came for a visit with Laura, Max, and Kandice last week. I think I have seen them more in the last year and half than I have for the previous ten...its great!

And then the kids and I went to their house that weekend because Danielle was going through the temple for the first time! How special it is to be close enough to do this with my family. She is a beautiful woman with an amazing spirit! I am so proud to claim her as family.

This picture had to be thrown in because it was just too darn pretty not too. When I think of heaven I think of sunsets.. I don't know why but I do.

Here is Aunt Deni with her daughter Laura. More amazing and beautiful women!

Happenings

Yes, I let Michael do this to our boys! Does it make them look sick? Yes. Will it be easier for me this summer? Yes. I HOPE it will grow out before school starts! They are still cute though.

Memorial day this year was FREEZING! We took the kids anyway to the cemetery and talked about what the holiday was about. Afterwards we went and got some grub. As you can see Morgan was eating on the most gigantic corn dog ever....and loving it.

I was having way too much fun mowing. I thought I could take down our little over-grown mound.....nope. Michael had to come and rescue me when he got home.

This is another project we can mark off the list of things to do! Perimeter fence...done! It is so encouraging to see things get done around here. It still amazes me what we have accomplished here so far.

You know you are in the country when people just give away horses. We are the proud owners of a 100% mustang now. His name is Chase and he is older. I can't help but liking him. He is not as intimidating as the others because he is smaller ...its cute.

Cole expressing his creativity with a napkin hat and his very loose front tooth protruding out. Mike and I took him on a date with us this past weekend in hopes to strengthen our relationship with him through individual time. Not really sure that worked out but we will keep at it.

Its cute to go out back because when we do all the chickens come running. They are so friendly and interesting to watch, minus the rooster Cole of course.

Birthday Party

After trying for two days to post these pictures I am so ready to get this documented and done!!! (Irritating..sometimes blogging is fun and sometimes its a pain in the butt.)

Anyhow, this is Cole's birthday party. He is now a big 7 year old! One more year until he is baptised...wow!

We had fun. We invited my parents who brought Maddy with them and then, T.J.'s family, the Squires and some friends from Mike's work. It was pretty fun to see all the kids running wild.

Mike got a pinata again this year, which is fun to watch the kids take turns at it. We didn't blind fold them this year so it went a little faster than last year.



Our house is not that spacious so we have to really utilize outside when we have get togethers like this. It worked out perfect though, we set up a volleyball net and had fun playing it.

Randy wanted to check the bees out with me so we suited up and went out and did our inspection. It is neat to share that experience with people. You really gain an appreciation for the bees.

All in all the party was fun, Cole had a good time and we felt loved by the family and friends that came to play.