Motherhood

When I was younger I never aspired or even dreamed of being a mother.  I actually took the view that to be a stay at home mother was way beneath me.  The thought of having babies and what it would do to my body was not appealing and then to just stay at home all day and cook and clean....why would anyone opt for that when there were so many "other" more important things one could be doing with her time.

I had big dreams to graduate from college, get a high paying job, wear super fance suits, and live the single life forever.  I would just have fun and only have to look out for number one....me!

So when I had my first child I was completly without any experince in dealing with  kids and totally unprepared for what would be coming.  I had my college degree in business administration, how was that going to help me with my newborn?! I am not saying that I regret going to college at all, if fact, I am so thankful I have that peice of paper and experience.  I just wish there was some manditory class out there for all females, just in case they get pregnant, that would teach the basics of motherhood and all that the job entails.

Needless to say, the first few years of motherhood for me was bumping around and trying to settle in my new career choice.  I found myself completley incompetent in the kitchen, ignorant in trying to fix up a home, and a routine or schedule for cleaning never even crossed my mind.   At the end of the day my poor husand would find me not fixed up and on the couch watching TV.  And because I knew I was not "performing" in my role I was frustrated a lot.  I felt bad about myself because I was not fixed up (why get ready just to change diapers and get spit up on?!) and unhappy because I felt I was wasting my time and my degree I had just got. 

I think I need to interject here that I found the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or more specific the Gospel of Jesus Christ)  while attending college and that turned my world upside down... in a super, incredible, amazing way. It changed my belief systems, my friends, my LIFE!  And my career choice. 

Those first few years of being a mother were disappointing because I had not prepared,  but through dilligent reading of all sorts of books on an array of subjects all dealing with my new career choice I found joy in being a stay at home mother.  I actually laugh to myself sometimes on where I thought I wanted to be in life.  I am so incrediabley thankful that we don't get what we want sometimes because I think that path of living single, and working and looking cute in all my business suits would have been very shallow, lonely and unfufilling.

Does being a stay at home mom suck sometimes? Yes!  Do I feel compensated for what I do around the house most of the time? No!  Would I still choose being a stay at home mom over being single and taking care of only me?  YES!

I LOVE my kids and I KNOW the work that I do in this home is priceless.  I am trying to mold little people into becoming great, caring, God fearing, contributing human beings.  What work is greater than that?  My compensation does not come in the form of bonuses, vacations, pats on the back from co-workers and bosses.  It comes from four little kids that tell me they love me and a husband that loves me and takes care of me.

I wouldn't change my career choice for a million dollars or any super cute business suits.  I am content and happy where I am.